He was at my place for pre-drinks. Destroyed my TV with the Wii remote because he got too into the tennis. "These things happen."

Shared my Netflix password. With his entire family. His cousins in Brazil are watching too. 14 profiles on my account.

At the birthday party she said she'd cover the next round of shots. The "round" turned out to be 14 tequilas at €30 each. Now she says it was a "joke."